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The teacher gave her 5th-grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story w/a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back &, one by one began to tell their stories.

There were all the regular types of stuff: Spilled milk & pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Janie was left.

“Janie, do you have a story to share?”

“Yes, ma’am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, & her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, & all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, & a survival knife.

She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break, & then she parachuted right into the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed 4 more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi w/her bare hands.”

“Good Heavens,” said the horrified teacher. “What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?”

“Don’t mess with Mommy when she’s been drinking.”