“Here Endeth the Lesson”!
Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren’t
prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand
He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”
She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you
since you were a young boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big
disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you
manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think
you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never
will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
the room and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?”
She again replied, “Why, yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he
was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking
problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone and his law
practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he
cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your
wife. Yes, I know him.”
The defense attorney almost died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very
quiet voice, said, “If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me,
I’ll send you to the electric chair!!!!!