“Doctor’s Orders”

After the exam, the physician pulls the wife aside, and says, “I’m afraid your husband has an advanced stress disorder. He’ll die very soon unless you do exactly as I tell you:

• Always be sweet and pleasant.
• Each morning, fix his favorite breakfast.
• Prepare delicious, healthy meals and snacks.
• Encourage him to nap whenever he wants.
• Don’t let him do any chores.
• Under no circumstances nag him about anything.
• Give him regular massages.
• Make love at least twice a week.

Keep this up for a year, and he’ll return to a state of near-perfect health for his age.”

Later in the car, the husband asks his wife what the doctor told her.

She replies, “Honey, he said you’re going to die soon.”