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“Doctor’s Orders”

An 80-year-old man goes to the doctor with his wife.

After the exam, the physician pulls the wife aside, and says, “I’m afraid your husband has an advanced stress disorder. He’ll die very soon unless you do exactly as I tell you:

  • Always be sweet and pleasant.
  • Each morning, fix his favorite breakfast.
  • Prepare delicious, healthy meals and snacks.
  • Encourage him to nap whenever he wants.
  • Don’t let him do any chores.
  • Under no circumstances nag him about anything.
  • Give him regular massages.
  • Make love at least twice a week.

Keep this up for a year, and he’ll return to a state of near-perfect health for his age.”

Later in the car, the husband asks his wife what the doctor told her.

She replies, “Honey, he said you’re going to die soon.”